Amateur Hack An Editorial By Mike White. " amateur fanzine put together by a bitter hack...poorly executed and a waste of time. The writing is weak and uninformed...

" amateur fanzine put together by a bitter hack...poorly executed and a waste of time. The writing is weak and uninformed. I feel sorry for [Mike White] - stuck in Michigan, ranting with no one listening. Rather pathetic."
- Chris Gore, Film Threat

Thanx, Chris. That little barb comes straight from a letter from Gore to my pal Terry Gilmer who mentioned that he was buying a subscription to Cashiers, expressing his dissatisfaction resulting from buying a lifetime subscription to Film Threat™ only to have the magazine cancelled a month later with no sign of a refund.

Unlike Film Threat™, Cashiers is not kaput, though it may have seemed that way. No, I'll be around for a while longer despite budgetary restraints and a job that actually requires a little thought.

There are a myriad of reasons why Cashiers du Cinemart will carry on in the face of adversity:

I’ve got great contributors like Rich "Proof-Readin' Fool" Osmond, Robin "Cinema Sewer" Bougie, Leon "Chuck Barris" Chase, Skizz "Counteroid" Cyzyk, Nathan "See Later Paragraph" Kane and Mike "I Don’t Take Akin To Nicknames" Thompson.

I’ve got a fantastic cover artist—the one and only Nathan "See Previous Paragraph" Kane whose recent work includes art for The Simpsons and Roswell comic books as well as the cover for Caspar: A Spirited Beginning (Nathan assures me that he included plenty of scandalous pornographic images so keep your eyes out, kids!). Nathan was joined this time around by Chris "The Ladies Call Me Mr. Speed" Ungar who did the intense lettering work—he almost did it in 14pt. Arial but stayed his hand at the last moment.

I’ve got a great printer—Small Publishers Co-Op in Sarasota, Florida. I shopped around quite a while and never found anyone who came close to their quality or prices!

I’ve got Desert Moon Periodicals, a friendly distributor who pays on time!

I’ve got fantastic advertisers who don’t bitch when the issues take so long to come out and who don’t hesitate to keep buying more and more ads (hint)!

I’ve got a bevy of beautiful subscribers from coast to coast who said they'd be crazy to pass up the incredible offer of three issues for five dollars and who also don’t bitch when issues take so long to come out!

I’ve got people across the country who love sending me bizarre video tapes so that they may be discussed and discovered within these pages.

I’ve got people who put me up at festivals (thanx Skizz, Jen, Karen, Erik and everyone else I met at the MicroCineFest —even Dan) and who put up with me at festivals (thanx Bryon, Jay and Sarah)!

I’ve got nutcases like G. Raymond Eddy who love to write to me (most of my hate mail is displayed proudly on the web site) and non-nutcases who have dropped me some really nice notes with kind words about Cashiers!

I’ve got people who support Cashiers by buying copies of my videos, Who Do You Think You're Fooling and You're Still Not Fooling Anybody which are now being picked up by some of the hipper video stores in the US and sold through Mark Johnston’s Shocking Videos.

With all of these positive things, then, why on earth did it take me so long to put out another Cashiers? What was the biggest hurdle? It wasn’t the job hunt, it wasn’t the web stuff... it was having to order a thousand copies of CdC #7 and look at 300 issues just sitting on the floor of my office. That’s not the most inspirational sight for someone struggling to put out yet another door-stopping zine.

But, despite all the temptations of just chucking the print edition and cheesing out a web version of Cashiers, the aforementioned contributors, advertisers, subscribers, distributors, printers and friends have really kept my heart into making Cashiers a viable zine. I’ve still got plenty of piss and vinegar and there are so many people that I haven’t even begun to piss off yet!

Back to Issue 8