The Guy Forward Hour
"If you're wondering how they eat and breathe and other science facts, then repeat to yourself 'it's just a show, I should just relax'..." What a nice sentiment those boys at Best Brains incorporated into the theme song for Mystery Science Theater 3000. Since it is kind of a science fiction related story a lot of geeks, nerds, and other miscreants were sure to find their way to it—just the kind of people who would get all up in arms about the logistics of the Umbilicus and "are Joel's movies shown in 35mm—if so, is Gypsy the projectionist?"
Luckily, it is an inherent qualification that fans of the show have to have a sense of humor about it and themselves, and this was best captured in the "fanzine" Mystery Science Manifesto 3000. No, this wasn't the kind of zine that tells you what color underwear Joel and Mike wear under their jumpsuits—it's a wacky, kind of sassy, zine that makes its own humor by playing off of jokes on MST3K.
For 12 beautiful issues, Dyna Moe gave the world a zine that you didn't even have to watch Comedy Central's best show (saying this over the commercial-infested "Young Ones"—ed.) to find humor in "Manifesto." Now, the days of Dyna running the ship are over. And just as Joel handed the mantle over to Mike, Dyna passes the torch on to none other than Patricio Vamos (see review of Vamos for more info).
However, Dyna didn't pull a Joel and disappear—no, my friends, Dyna's got a new zine—"The Guy Forward Hour." Originally started in a forum on Prodigy, Guy Forward was shined and polished on American Online by Dyna and her co-author Danforth France. To call The Guy Forward Hour a basic serial is like saying Waterworld had a modest budget. Forward is an issue-to-issue science fiction story with its feet planted more in the Douglas Adams school of thought than Isaac Asimov and takes to heart that MST3K "let's not take ourselves too seriously" doctrine, making The Guy Forward Hour a very fun read. It's also great to look at—I really like the layout and drawings. They've got at least four action-packed installments planned out all for the low, low price of $7—not a bad deal at all. Write to Dyna Moe at 6702 Tennyson Dr., McLean, VA 22101 and join the Guy Forward Info Club for a buck at 953 Rose Arbor Dr., San Marcos, CA 92069.
Shemp
This zine mentions Black Shampoo in issue 12. 'Nuff said?
Write to Larry Yoshida and order a bunch of issues. 1919 Evergreen Park Drive SW, #79, Olympia, WA 98502-5939.
Damn, We're Smooth
Vamos—I don't know if this is a national commercial or not but have you seen the one with the twin sisters who were separated at birth but meet after thirty odd years because they both go to the same place to have their pictures framed? I've seen photographs of Patrick Drummond (aka Patricio Vamos, his punk name) and I look nothing like him but when I read VAMOS I feel that we may at least get our pictures framed in the same store.
A few days after thinking, "I should do a great comprehensive article and filmography of Corey Haim and Corey Feldman," came an envelope from Kansas City holding just such an article in Issue #6 of VAMOS. And a week after listening to my album of Mr. T's Be Somebody Or Be Somebody's Fool I read a review of the Video(!) in that same VAMOS!
And there's so much more! The writing is great and the stories are totally hilarious! Issue #7—the one year anniversary (congrats!) has some damn great comics including one about Trent Reznor that had me gasping for breath, not in shock over what some would consider bad taste, but because I was laughing so damn hard.
This is one of the best zines money can buy. I don't know if the issues are thin or if I just read them voraciously but I recommend ordering a few at a time. $5 for 6 issues! What a bargain! P.O. Box 5871, Kansas City, MO 64171.
Schlock!—Look cool as you're sitting on your favorite mode of public transportation reading this newspaper style zine that's been running a continuing look at biker films over the last few (and frequent) issues. The latest also includes a debate on which "Bewitched" Darrin was better and bemoans its fate among the unneeded and saturated market of movies based on television shows.
There is also a nice article about Hong Kong films that doesn't sound pedantic and might convince a reader that enjoying HK movies isn't something that cliques of nerds who just want to see live-action boobs and explosions after they've worn out their Japanimation tapes enjoy. HK is for everybody! Especially people sick of the stale Hollywood formulas.
Also included are some movie/video/zine reviews as well as (our favorite) rumors galore! $4 for 4 issues—again, order a few, one long bus ride and it'll be read cover to cover—send your cash to John Chilson, 3841 Fourth Ave #192, San Diego, CA 92103.
Heinous #3—When I first read about a zine dedicated to Evel Knievel I thought, "that'd be good for a laugh." But, I was mistaken. Steve Mandich's "Heinous" is good for a lot of laughter. There's a lot of stuff about Knievel, sure, but it's all in fun and fandom, not fanaticism. In issue #3 there's some nice letters from readers relating their Evel memories, some FAQs about wheelies, and a Knievel discography. But wait! There's so much more!
Mandich also includes articles on the Rolling Stones and Chick Comix (more insidious than "Galen the Saintly" could ever hope to be). Although there have been other articles on Chick in various fanzines, Heinous has done the best job that I've seen so far and even goes so far as to include a whole comic!
All this: Evel Knievel, great writing, and fantastic layout, all for a buck! Folks, I like to keep my hands on my dough but even a skinflint like me would gladly give twice as much for such great entertainment—you know you've got a good thing going. We at CdC only want to give you the best money can buy. Hell, even if you got an issue of each of the zines reviewed here you'd still be spending less than the price of one movie ticket in New York—and the movie could suck! But you're guaranteed cosmically significant entertainment from our recommendations!
So send that measly dollar (you've probably got more than that in change lying around the house) to Steve Mandich at P.O. Box 10412, Portland, OR 97210.
Terminal Brain Rot #5—Last issue I compared Mike Huegen's zine to the film Three the Hard Way—he says subscriptions didn't triple—let me explain my metaphor a little better. Jim Brownish Video Reviews! Fred Williamsonesque Record Reviews! And Jim Kellyan Articles! Three the Hard Way took three of the biggest stars from Blaxploitation films and put them all together under the direction of Gordon Parks Jr. Terminal Brain Rot takes writing and artwork from some of the most talented writers and artists and puts them all together under the direction of Mike Huegen. It don't get much better than this, baby.
All that TBR needs is a theme song by The Impressions and the circle would be complete. There aren't any big exposes in #5 but there is some ultra-cool artwork by Greg Wyatt and Darren Merinuk to book-end the pages and pages of insightful and humorous reviews. Again, don't teach your kids the value of a dollar by having them buy this zine or else they'll think a five-spot can get them a car—it's a bargain and a half! I feel like I'm ripping him off just sending such a paltry amount! Send your dough to Mike Huegen at 7312 Reynard Ln., Charlotte, NC 28215.