Nathan Kane drew the cover for this issue, his first for Cashiers du Cinemart.
Top Ten Things I Would Do If I Were King
- Bring back Brother Voodoo.
- Offer Bigfoot a position in my personal Monster Squad.
- 24 Hour Baywatch channel.
- Change National Anthem to "Jungle Boogie."
- Put Big Boy on a sensible diet.
- Replace Supreme Court with People magazine's 12 sexiest people.
- Open a Starsky & Hutch based theme park.
- Robot double will fill in for me while I'm out fighting crime with Elvis.
- Mandatory Bat Girl outfits for female police officers.
- Rule with an iron fist!
Reprinted from "The Simpsons" #14 & "The Whisper Lake Gazette" #1
Chris: For some insane reason, Nathan swears that Peter Criss was the best singer in the mega-supergroup of the seventies, eighties and nineties, Kiss. I think we all realize that Paul is the Master Crooner of the rock sect, with Gene running a very close second. Pete couldn't sing his way out of a wet paper bag.
Nathan: I need only utter three words in Pete's defense: Hard Luck Woman. This master balladeer weaves a mystical tapestry of love, longing and a never-ending respect for the majesty (and mystery) of the sea. If this doesn't sway even the most jaded non-believer, I must point out that Kiss's only top-ten smash, "Beth," was vocalized by the indomitable Mr. Criss.
Andrew: Hey guys, this is a very interesting discussion and all but don't you think we should talk about something with a little more substance? Here we have a chance to express our thoughts and feelings on important issues and... guys?
Chris: I think you're mistaking "Hard Luck Woman" with "Brandy" or, more likely, "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald." It's as plain as the tongue in Gene's mouth that Paul can outsing Pete any day of the week. It's ludicrous to think that Pete is a good singer.
Nathan: Hey, I never said he was a good singer, I only said he was the best singer in Kiss. (Ooh, burn!!)
How I Got My First Job in Comics: Editor's mother thought I was cute.
How I Lost My First Job in Comics: Editor's girlfriend thought I was cute.
Personal Mantra: "Krikey!"
My Secret Shame: Had my butt kicked by Emmanuel Lewis in a barroom brawl.
Tip For Teens: For God's sake, floss!
-- Nathan Kane