Why is "Friends" so popular? Can't be the half-hearted writing, can't just be that mind-numbing theme song. No, wait, I got it. "Friends" is popular for two other reasons: Jennifer Aniston's nipples.
Have you seen those bad boys? I think they must be shooting "Friends" in Letterman's old studio—that's the only reason I can fathom a woman having erect nipples at every moment of the day.
What's the story behind these Thursday night protrusions into the American public's home? Courtney Cox might occasionally sport a set of pencil erasers under her shirt but Aniston's ability to be hard and stay hard through every clinging-shirted scene of the hit sit-com is incredible!
I imagine the lighting guys have to take those things into account when they set up her shots: "okay, boys, let's throw a little fill in on the nipples, get that shadow to match the practical, let's throw a little gel on that nipple light."
Forget the haircut, I'm surprised women all over the world aren't doing something to enhance their nipples like Aniston's. They're insanely erect! I haven't seen breasts more prominently displayed since Kim Novak's in... these things deserve their own spin-off series.