Despite the jerk-off presenter, the best thing about the movie awards had to be giving the Lifetime Achievement award to Jackie Chan. Somebody on staff was actually cool enough to know that Jackie Chan is the king and had the sense enough to honor this man among men and legend of the screen.

If we can only reach one person and convince them, you, just to try a Jackie Chan picture then we will feel fulfilled.

Unfortunately, Jackie is best known in the States as the star who starred in The Protector, both Cannonball Runs and The Big Brawl (which isn't necessarily that bad). Dumb luck, that. Bad luck in America has kept Jackie abroad—for the most part—sure, if you live in New York, Toronto, or San Francisco a quick trip to Chinatown and a street survey would confirm what I'm saying and quell your fears that I might be talking out my ass.

FUCK SCHWARZENEGGER!
FUCK STALLONE!
FUCK VAN DAMME!
FUCK SEAGAL!
FUCK SPEAKMAN!
(Speakman?)

'Cause they ain't NOTHING compared to Jackie Chan!

Chan is still making movies. If his latest, Rumble in the Bronx, had opened even in the pitifully small numbers as something like The Hudsucker Proxy, it'd wipe the floor with anything Hollywood's tried to pass off as action films and everyone could see them as the lame-ass, stunt-double crazy crap that has wrongfully been cheered on to Box Office bliss.

Bah-humbug!

Jackie does something like 98% of his own stunts nowadays; he is getting older, the only reason that 2% has crept in there, and I don't mean those candy-ass "stunts" that American stuntmen are called on to do—falls, fights, fumbles—I'm talking about total balls-out cliff-jumping, skull-cracking, bone-shattering, crazy-ass rewind-that-shit-and-show-it-to-me-again-in-slo-mo-cause-I-can't-believe-my-own-eyes stunts that you couldn't pay anyone to do here in the states since the insurance would be so high and the lawsuits so large.

Not only does Jackie do his own stunts, he also directs most of the films he's in and even just as a director he kicks major booty.

He's a mad man!

As if starring in such over-the-top side-splitting hilarious (yes, the humor transcends the language barrier—with or without subtitles) films wasn't enough, he directs, which makes his films even more kinetic and exciting than they already inherently are just by starring this human dynamo.

Have I piqued your interest yet? Consider this the CdC PSA—but this is more important than direct deposit, crime prevention and fire safety. Your life ain't worth spit until you've been turned on to Jackie Chan.

In the words of Rudy Ray Moore—I ain't lyin'! Your jaw will hit the ground and your brain will sizzle in its own juices when you see him in action.

Now, don't screw yourself over and rent those semi-crappy, silly (but still fun to watch) chop-sockey films like Spiritual Kung-Fu, Dragon Lord, or New Fist of Fury just because they're easy to find. Ask around town, write to people who want to trade tapes, order them from places like Samurai Video and Far East Flix, or, hell, even write to us and we'll give you a dub of some of Jackie's movies.

These movies aren't just for nerds, cinephiles, or action-movie nuts either. They're for everyone! Ladies, this isn't just some testosterone driven article that is aimed at the guys. No! Women kill themselves in front of hotels that he stays at! Jackie is quite a cutie with lots of charm and twinkling eyes. His appeal is universal!

Have we steered you wrong yet? If you don't believe us then, damn, what can we do to convince you? Please listen. We here at CdC have seen and recommend: Project A 1 & 2, Wheels on Meals, Winners & Sinners, Police Story 1 & 2 (& 3 aka: Supercop), Armour of God 1 & 2, Dragons Forever, Drunken Master 2.

That's just a little 11 film tip-of-the-iceberg for you. Jackie has at least 50 films in his filmography. Like we said, his earliest works are not that great but some of them are still highly entertaining (Drunken Master 1, Fearless Hyena 1 & 2, Dragon Lord).

Track these down! You'll thank us.

Far East Flix, 59-13 68th Ave, Ridgewood, NY 11385
Samurai Video, P.O. Box 372, Suffern, NY 10901

And in the Metro Detroit area try:

Evergreen Supply Company (complete line of Oriental groceries, video rentals), 20736 Lahser. Hours—Mon-Sat 9-7, Sun 10-7.